Yesterday my husband sent me a little email about how holidays are going to run in 2008. (Apparently, we’re going to start running our household like a corporation and all communications will be through memos. This should make sex very interesting, office romances always seemed so scandalous. I digress…)
This is a little list that he’s been secretly compiling throughout this past season based on this year’s performance (God I hope I get a raise):
Super smart tips for a more enjoyable holiday:
2008 Holiday Theme: Simplify, simplify, simplify (already I fear we’ve gone overboard with the theme)
- Make xmas gift lists in advance don’t wait to last minute if we plan on ordering online (I love you online shopping, let’s never fight again)
- Either make baked goods AND cds for family OR gifts NOT both. WAY too much work, money! (But. But. You just said plan ahead!)
OTHER NOTES:
No shipping of specialized boxes of baked goods this year and no CD this year either. (GASP! But people LOVE the CD. At least, they do in my head…)
Make a Christmas budget! Includes everything from the tree, to gifts, to wrapping paper and cookie ingredients (But I can’t possibly make you cookies… you just announced an official decree for me to do nothing next year)
If going to fair lawn, stay at hotel and leave on the 26th. (Amen to this one. I especially like the word “IF”)
There you have it, the official scaled-down-Christmas-decree. I’m sure a lot of this will either A. get lost by next year leaving me wandering around aimlessly in November yet again; B. will get tossed out the window because I am extremely stubborn and want to play by my rules and my rules only; C. Oops. Red wine’s getting to me and I’ve already forgotten what C should be. Yes…. I like option C the best I think. Here’s me raising my almost empty glass to mass consumption of wine during the next holiday season to the point where I can’t remember who’s present I’ve just wrapped. Excellent idea hon. I love it.
Filed under: Crazy-ass theories, Ding-Dong Merrily On High, The Man
I would like some chocolate cake….
My mother makes detailed lists for every holiday which she updates as the wind-up progresses and summarizes when the occasion is completed. Each task is broken down, listed, assigned a priority, attributed to an individual’s responsibility, status recorded, and additional comments made.
There does seem to be some law of nature, though, that requires a certain degree of inaccuracy or imprecision. Also, in general, she loses each list before the next iteration of the holiday is upon us.
Sooo, if you take all of my mom’s peccadilloes, and organize them in columns and rows with lovely little bullet points, you typically get a list that commands that :
The attic needs cleaning and organizing before Thanksgiving dinner.
The item she can’t quite identify, and doesn’t know whose it is, only just discovered and hasn’t yet shown anybody, *must* be thrown out before Christmas. After all, it is in the library upstairs, which no one will enter that day. Hot food, however, is unnecessary. Last year she served cold buffets for breakfast and dinner. Nothing says “our savior’s birth” like cold food.
That corn dish she likes *really* came out well. Must repeat!!!!! [No one ate it; she made a gallon; it required 4 quart containers to store.]
Inevitably, this will be followed by:
Reduce Leftovers!
I vote for the wine, or, in my case, copious gumdrops.
Beth, but you’ve got all that fudge… and besides, it really doesn’t ship well at all (translation: more for me)
MC: Is your mom, perhaps, a virgo? I’m down with gumdrops if we have to self-medicate each other.