I have an intense desire to bake a pie right now, on the other hand I have an intense desire to lay on my couch and whisper sweet nothings to the heating pad strategically placed on my abdomen. Ouch, y’all.
For those of you who’ve been kicking around this blog for a while (or are women, or are familiar with women at all) know I have a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde personality especially every 28 days or so. But, here’s the kicker, my split personalities have split personalities. On the very rare occasion, I am confronted by Hekyll and Jyde who are the evil opposite twins of the my usual pairing. These guys are a particularly crafty duo who are hell bent on making me sweet as pie during my monthly leaving me to believe that I am capable of true kindness instead of my normal thinly veiled insults.
As fate should have it, Hekyll and Jyde usually show up after large doses of some sort of NSAID drug. (Wee!) After the administration of said medication I feel light hearted and full of endless energy (also, everything looks like it’s covered in sparkles). I want to start house projects (Let’s tear down that wall!) and (How hard can plumbing be?), I want to tackle some light reading (Hey, you read Ulysses, how was it?), and develop an inflated sense of self-assurance (Forget pizza! Tonight I’m going to make a romantic dinner for two complete with appetizers and dessert! Now, where’s my shopping list?) Aleve is as close to crack as this body’s ever gonna get.
Naturally, after completely ignoring my husband’s sensible plea to please lay down and stay there for 36 hours, I run out of steam mid-project and suddenly realize that the laws of gravity are working on my body and suddenly my uterus becomes angry and tries to jump ship for a body with a much more sober driver. This then leads to an ugly transformation of the more standard sulking, evil, grumpy SG that we all know and love.
So where does this leave me? Well, it’s a moments like these that I’m reminded that I am married to a saint. Seriously, people, a saint. Besides putting up with me on a daily basis (which is enough for canonization) the man gently sits me down on the couch when I’m twirling around in circles (the universal sign that I’ve lost my mind), cleans up after my half baked project, makes me hot chocolate (extra marshmallows), and stokes my hair until I fall asleep.
Sometimes it takes a little bit of ugly to help you understand how much you really have.
Filed under: Crazy-ass theories, The Man, Yeah I'm PMSing, what's your point?
Okay, I’m doing the wave over here for your MVP. Lucky you. Lucky him, too, because I think you’re pretty swell.
Aw. Shucks. I think you’re the neatest girl around town, hon.
Besides, I’m impressed that apparently we’re cycling together. Will he make me a hot chocolate, too?
Wow, those are some strong pheremones to be picked up through the computer. He certainly would if you were here.
Might I suggest some Aleve?
I don’t know how to take to cheeriness during PMT, but I have to say how I like your site!
Don’t know how my friend Steve found it, but he sent the link through. Must remember to thank him.
WOW! Could you clone and sell him? Please?
My favorite part is when I start crying for no reason.
husband: “Why are you crying?”
me: “I don’t know!!!”
husband: “Is there something I can do?”
me: “I don’t know!!!”
husband: “Ok…well”
me: “Go away! Wait, no. Come back! Hug me! NOW!”
I try to have chocolate in the freezer exactly for times like this. Perhaps you should have some pie handy.
@ Donna, Take it as I was high as a kite and nothing more. I’ll be better soon, I promise.
@Vanessa, YES! I think I will because I have a backyard that needs to be landscaping badly. I’ll get on this as soon as humanly possible.
@missburrows, ha! I love your anecdote! Oh the mental instability that comes with PMS. I usually do have chocolate on hand, but the well has runeth dry. I need to make a pie because I have approximately 30 apples leftover from my Christmas decorating debacle, not that I don’t like pie it’s just the double crust drives me a little crazy. However, despite all this, I’ve been craving pie ever since the movie Waitress came out. If you haven’t seen it, you all really really need to. And make sure you have pie on hand. Seriously.
Hubby is a saint.
Waitress? Really? That seems like a chick flick that you wouldn’t be into. Huh – going to get it (after all, the guy from FireFly is in it and he’s darn cute!)
Ok. We clearly need to get back together soon. I. Love. Chick. Flicks. I’m just not into stupid, like Jackass. Oh, and when Dan In Real Life comes out… get that too. I wanted to marry Steve Carell after that.