It’s been difficult writing these past couple of weeks. I know that there is little that is more lame that blogging about why I’m not blogging recently but I still kind of feel like I owe you an explanation. It’s nothing fun and dramatic like: check me out I’m pregnant and my hormones force me to not care about the online world or anything like that. It’s really been more of an overload of work and relative burnout that has pretty much is the source of the tiny bit of vomit that eeks into my mouth every time I see a computer screen. But, dear internet, it’s not you. You would never turn my stomach sour it’s these other people and these other peoplecontact me via computer 98% of the time. Without going into detail about it, these people can’t put a coherent sentence together with two hands and a flashlight and the thought of reading an email from them sends me into a fantasy world where I hurl my computer onto my brick steps smashing it to pieces Pete Townshend style. Alas, the bank would surely foreclose on the house if our sole source of income ended up shattered on my front lawn so I hold back my tears and internalize my pain.
Instead I have been:
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Soothing my pain by eating reeses peanut butter eggs. Only, in the end I’ve discovered that doesn’t help because, quite swiftly, increases my berth and therefore causes me to buy more clothes which in turn means I have to work more and as you see just feeds into the endless circle of hell.
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Drinking beer every night. It too increases my berth but somehow I don’t end up caring about that until the next morning.
- Eat chocolate cake for dinner as a direct result of having had several beers before “making” dinner.
- Smearing a stick of butter on my hips every day figuring that if I’m striving to double my size I might as well have supple skin too.
But never fear my dear readersthrough the magic of NaPloBoMo at least you can count on getting 31 lists in the next 31 days from me, so again, something to look forward to.
Bottoms up!
Filed under: Like nails on a chalkboard, Mmm... chocolate-y, Neurosis-it’s not pretty but it gets the job done
Don’t give up on the peanut butter eggs; I am pretty sure they have magical powers. Or, well, if you *do* give up on them, send any leftovers to me. If I recall correctly, regular reese’s cups have approximately 10% of one’s daily protein requirement per cup, so I can totally justify, what, like 5-6 eggs a day. Or more if I am nursing…right?
Just promise me that IF you should ever become pregnant, that you will walk around saying “Check me out I’m pregnant” all the time. Mostly to strangers. Please. Promise. Me. That.
Yes, I know those other people. I know them well, their names are “client.” They come straight from hell and they insinuate their presence into every nook and cranny of your life. But , alas they pay the mortgage.
I believe the beer therapy works best (although I prefer wine or Jameson,) if for no other reason the temporary, yet blissful black-out that can be achieved.
MC, LOL! I’m pretty sure that’s the correct ratio…
Beth Dunn, Of course I would do that but I think it would be even more fun if I acted like I was surprised, like, where the hell did THAT come from! Hmph.
Sketched out, you totally get me. I love you. HA!